i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
