yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
so much tequila, so little girl.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
