So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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