I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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