Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
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private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
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He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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