hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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