So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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