marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
