trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I came so hard my ears popped.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
