I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
third nipple confirmed
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
