my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
