playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
