As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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