Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
