was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
