yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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