i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize