I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
