I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
