I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
