I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
