you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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