I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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