id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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