speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize