it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
