hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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