i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
