yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
