We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
