i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
