remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
please come you make the beer taste better
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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