That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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