Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
