Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
