ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
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Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
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By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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