she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
