the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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