we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
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I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
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All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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