every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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