Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
