i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
