I think I won the penis lottery.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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