My underwear smells like fireworks.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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