I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
