Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
