"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
