You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
