this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
