Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize