I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
