i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
