Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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