My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
