I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
