Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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