i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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