she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
