We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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