Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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