I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
