Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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