My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Randomize
