my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
