everyone is single if you try hard enough
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
