Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
third nipple confirmed
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
