When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
