First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
