He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
