All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize