that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I would ride that face into the sunset
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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