I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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