Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I need a burrito and a hug.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
