We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
